Want Happiness? Move Forward
We’ve all been hurt in the past. You could not be the adult you are today without having experienced emotional pain. Yes, it hurts. What you do with that pain, however, is more important than the actual hurt you experienced.
As women, we tend to hold on to hurts from the past. We ruminate about what could have or should have been. Depending on what caused the pain, we may even hold a lot of anger inside of us. In order to live a more fulfilling and happier life, you need to let go of the past and move on. But how?
Here are some ways you can let go of the past and be happy:
Decide to Let it Go
The first thing you must do is make a conscious decision to let the past go. You have a choice to let your past hurts go or to keep dwelling on them. If you don’t decide to let it go before doing anything else, then you run the risk of sabotaging yourself and won’t be able to move on.
By deciding to let go, you acknowledge that you have a choice and that can be very empowering!
Acknowledge Your Pain
Acknowledge your pain by expressing it to someone. If you’re comfortable you can express your feelings to the person who caused the pain. If you don’t or can’t confront the person who caused the pain, then you can vent to a friend or write it in a journal.
Another way to express yourself is to write a letter to the person who hurt you. You will never send this letter, but it will help let out your feelings. If you have any responsibility for the pain (such as a failed relationship) acknowledge it. Don’t feel helpless and play the victim.
Stop Blaming Others
People play the victim because it feels good. When you play the victim, it elicits reactions from other people, and you get the attention you want. Stop! It’s an endless cycle of blame.
You have a choice. You can keep on feeling bad about something someone has done to you, or you can start feeling good about yourself. You are responsible for your own happiness. No one in the world has the power to make you happy except you.
You can analyze the situation until the cows come home, and nothing will change. You can’t save the relationship back or change how someone else behaved. Don’t waste all your energy on someone who wronged you.
Focus on The Present
It’s time to let go of the past! Start focusing your energy on the here and now. Let the positive thoughts take over. There will be times when the hurt creeps back in your mind. It’s okay to acknowledge the thought, but then let it go. Focus on your present goals.
Forgiveness
The last step to letting go is forgiveness. We get stuck in our pain and refuse to forgive. By saying” I don’t like what you did, but I forgive you” or “You caused me a lot of pain, but I forgive you.” doesn’t make you weak. In fact, forgiveness makes you an even stronger person. Forgiveness is a way to let someone go.
While you’re at it don’t forget to forgive yourself. sometimes when we’re hurt, we blame ourselves for the situation. While you may have had a part to play, you don’t need to keep blaming yourself. Forgiving yourself and the other person involved is the only way to move on.
Moving on after you’ve been hurt can be difficult. By making a conscious decision to let go, you begin to heal. That part of your life happened, and it hurt, but it’s going to be okay. Learning to forgive both the person that hurt you and yourself is a big step, but only then can you move on and be happy.
Patricia Love, The RahRah Coach
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Patricia Love, The “RahRah” Coach, is a motivational and accountability coach. She flips women’s inner script from “I can’t” Into “I can,” so they can break through the blocks that have sabotaged their pocketbook, and the life they deserve.
As a business woman, Patricia found as much as she loved coaching, she couldn’t be a coach to all.
So she has put together the “best of the best” in coaches, creating a team, called “My Coaching Squad” providing Superbowl coaches who create touchdown after touchdown for their clients on her website. Patricialove.com
These coaches are experts in their fields and were hand-picked to be part of “My Coaching Squad,” because of their coaching skills, ethics, integrity, and expertise in their fields.
