How do I stop being an overthinker? The thought process for each person is unique, creative, and truly personalized to the individual – that’s you! You have a thousand choices to make in a day. Many of us have even more than that,(and forget about the people who have kids or pets, no one can count as high as the number of choices they make daily). but, how do we know if we are making the right one?
How do we go through these thought processes to reach our choice or our desired goal? And the most important, how do we not fixate on these choices? Overthinking is a toxic affliction many people have and it can hamper their ability to make a decision altogether. Do you know how to stop being an overthinker?
What Causes Overthinking?
Overthinking stems, in part, from access to too many choices. Or the continuous calculation of the effects your choices may have on others and the world around you. And, as some people would like to forget, overthinking often stems from FOMO – or the Fear Of Missing Out on a better option. How many times have you been reluctant to go on that date, buy a certain product, or even look at a type of car because “there could always be something better”? It’s genuinely a terrible feeling and takes the joy away from other experiences and choices you could have made. OMG, Stop me from overthinking!
With the following tips and tricks, you can eliminate the argument in your head and be direct, to the point, and straight-forward without the crippling worrying, that comes with overthinking. We need to stop you thinking, hmm, How do I stop being an overthinker? Here are some ways.
Make a Pro’s vs. Con’s List
So, it’s true, some decisions are big, massive, HUGE. It warrants overthinking, but how do you know when to stop? How do you prevent yourself from tossing and turning all night long, pushing more and more ‘what if’s’ into your pillow? The best way to stop this – and feel more secure in what you are choosing – is to make a pro’s vs. con’s list.
Do you have a choice between restaurants you like to go to, but can’t choose between the two before your partner gets irritated by the lack of response? Make a list! Making the good and the bad clear as day, on a sheet of paper about any choice, can make the correct one shine as bright as a lighthouse on a foggy night.
That restaurant? Why would you pick the one with bad appetizers and high price, when you could pick the one with great martini’s and hot waiters? No sense in overthinking it either, the best choice was clear, no guilt is needed and you can feel great about yourself for helping make someone else’s day move forward, a little bit more smoothly.
Don’t Look Back
Has your window of opportunity closed and you already made a choice in response to a scenario? Maybe you picked a dialogue option with a coworker and now it feels weird? If the time to make a choice has already passed, ie. saying something to a friend/coworker/family member, then don’t dread what could have been. Don’t get into the woulda, coulda, shoulda syndrome.
Now is the time to look forward and see how you can either correct or live with, what was done. There are very few things in life that can’t be fixed. Do you think you might have said something to a coworker that could have offended them? Explain yourself. Get their opinion or how they interpreted your message. Respond to their interpretation and move forward together.
Communication is key to stop your overthinking. Get the answers you are looking for and learn from any mistakes already made, to prevent walking into the same situation again.
Leave Nothing Behind
You have a lot of choices to make, day in and day out – make sure you are getting to all of them! When something comes along, the first thing you are going to overthink, would be “could I have missed something?” So, go into your options with a focussed mind.
Do your research, is there anything you might be forgetting about? Did you get all of the information you need to make sure you’re not missing anything else? To make sure that you prevent that ‘left on the table’ regret of a decision you have made, make sure to always be as informed as possible about your topic!
Bounce Off Others
Friends and family exist for a reason – they are our safety net, our support beams, and our sources of courage. If you have tough choices that could lead to you overthinking, reach out to one of your friends or a trusted member of your family to see what their opinion is on the subject. Sometimes they don’t even need to say anything! Being trapped in your own head is very real. And, getting your words out to someone else, maybe, exactly the right amount of effort you need, to see what your clear and obvious choice should be.
This will also help when you are having doubts about a choice you made, or something that happened, and you bounced it off of your support person initially. They can re-confirm what you talked about together, at the beginning, which can take a lot of that suffocating weight off of your shoulders.
Sleep On It
A lot of our decisions have to be made during the hectic, hellbound, days of work and responsibility and frankly – that is no way an important decision should be made. If something comes your way, and you feel it could be something to cause you grief later down the road, do not hesitate to tell the person or party that you need to sleep on your thoughts. Don’t rush yourself. Here is a quote by Wayne Dyer, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” This quote will remind you to look at things from different angles. It will help you from overthinking and getting stuck in your head.
Separating yourself from the moment will help you see things more clearly and create a more fitting choice that will have the best outcome, not to mention a solid 8-10 hours of sleep will improve your judgment and clarity overall.
